Smile of the Week

This week's Smile of the Week is a very topical bit from Dave Chappelle

Barack Obama Wins

Illinois Sen. Barack Obama has been elected the next President of the United States, capping a historic campaign that makes him the first African American president in history.

Obama was the first Democrat since 1976 to win more than 50 percent of the popular vote, netting at least 62,748,399 to Sen. John McCain's 55,596,984.

Obama: CA, CO, CT, DC, DE, FL, HI, IA, IL, IN, MD, MI, MN, NJ, NJ, NM, NY, NV, OH, OR, PA, RI, VA, VT, WA, WI
McCain: AL, AR, AZ, GA, KY, KS, LA, MT, MS, ND, NE, SC, SD TX, UT, WV, WY
Too close to call: MO, NC

History Has Been Made

Barack Obama will be the 44th the President of the United States of America.
Oh yeah!

Part One of his speech



Part Two



Part Three

You Learn Something New Every Day

In Turkey the color of mourning is violet. In most Moslem countries and in China it is white.

If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not be heads 5,000 times, but more like 4,950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom.

The letters KGB stand for Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti.

To "testify" was based on men in the Roman court swearing to a statement made by swearing on their testicles.

Palin falls prey to Canadian pranksters

Republican vice presidential hopeful Sarah Palin fell prey to a Canadian prankster on Nov 1 when he called her impersonating French President Nicolas Sarkozy and got her to accept an invitation to hunt baby seals.

A member of the Quebec comedy duo "The Masked Avengers," famous for tricking celebrities and politicians including Sarkozy himself, asked if Palin would take him on a hunting trip by helicopter, and then in French said they could also go kill baby seals.

An apparently oblivious Palin said she thought that would be fun. "We could have a lot of fun together as we're getting work done. We could kill two birds with one stone that way."

Read the Reuters story

Boy Finds Meth, Cash In Candy Bag

Police in Ramsey, Minn. say a 7-year-old boy got more than he expected in his Halloween bag this year.

Someone dropped 2.2 grams of methamphetamine and $85 into the bag of Lars and Shelly Brosdahl's son. They found the drugs and baggie of money after he dumped out his Halloween candy.

Read the cbs3.com story.

Japanese Man Petitions to Marry Comic Book Character

A Japanese man has enlisted hundreds of people in a campaign to allow marriages between humans and cartoon characters, saying he feels more at ease in the "two-dimensional world."

Taichi Takashita has launched an online petition aiming for 1 million signatures to present to the Government to establish a law on marriages with cartoon characters.

Within a week he has gathered more than 1,000 signatures through the internet.

Read the abc.net.au story

Boy Gets Sent From School for Jesus Costume

A middle school student from New Jersey was sent home Friday after he came to school dressed up as Jesus for Halloween.

Decked out in sandals, a robe, fake beard and thorns, 13-year-old Alex Woinski joined 500 other students at West Brook Middle School in Paramus.

"It was offensive to some students," Woinski said, when asked what school officials told him the reason for being sent home was.

Woinski has developed an interest in religion. His mother is Catholic and his father is Jewish. He recently celebrated his Bar Mitzvah and his also studying Bible scripture.

Now, by no means am I a religious person, but in a time where every teenaged girl is dressed like street walker on Halloween, where at every turn there are extreme costumes of blood and gore, I have to laugh at this, because the people who sent this boy home from school most likely, were bible thumpers themselves.

Read the wcbstv.com story

Bill Maher's New Rules for Oct 31

HBO television show Real Time with Bill Maher's New Rules segment for October 31. This week: Dogs in costumes, Iceland, George W. Bush, Salma Hayek's breast, the 2008 election.

Colin Powell Endorses Obama

Colin Powell, a Republican and retired general who was President Bush's first secretary of state, broke with the party Sunday and endorsed Democrat Barack Obama for president, calling him a "transformational figure" while criticizing the tone of John McCain's campaign.

Powell, on NBC program Meet the Press, said Obama had "met the standard" to be commander-in-chief "because of his ability to inspire" Americans of all ages and ethnic and political stripes."I think he would be a transformational president. For that reason I will be voting for Senator Barack Obama," said Powell, who was the first African-American to serve as chairman of the joint chiefs of staff.

Should Obama win in just over two weeks, "all Americans should be proud, not just African-Americans," he said. "It would not just electrify our country, it would electrify the world.

Read the Associated Press story

Addictions and Bad Dreams

My current obsessions, time wasters and indulgences, in no particular order, are:

Curtis Mayfield
Three's Company Season Two on DVD
sake shashimi
Orangina 473mL bottles
Argyle socks
Mob Wars application on Facebook
chickpeas

R.I.P Frankie Venom

The lead vocalist of legendary Canadian punk band Teenage Head has died. Frank Venom, (nee Kerr) had recently battled throat cancer. Born in Glasgow, Scotland, Kerr was the lead singer of the Hamilton-based band which formed at Westdale High School back in 1975.

Considered the Eastern-Canadian ambassadors of the original punk movement, Teenage Head were Kerr, guitarist Gord Lewis, bassist Steve Mahon and drummer Nick Stipanitz.

The death coincides with an announcement that same morning that Teenage Head would receive a special lifetime achievement award during the 2008 Hamilton Music Awards taking place Nov. 13-16. 

Frankie Venom was 51.

Read the Toronto Star story

Smile of the Week

Dr. Floyd Peeper of the Electric Mayhem band performing a George Harrison masterpiece.

R.I.P Alton Ellis

The Godfather of Rocksteady Alton Ellis died on October 10.

The Jamaican legend was instrumental in the rocksteady movement, a slower version of ska music. Ellis first recording the Mad Mad riddim in 1967, which became a much used beat to a plethora of rocksteady records, as well as being sampled by hip hop artist such as KRS-One and Tupac Shakur.

Ellis scored big with hits "Girl I've Got a Date", "Cry Tough" and "Get Ready - Rock Steady", which was the first song to refer to the name of the newer genre. His Mr. Soul of Jamaica album is regarded as one of the definitive rocksteady albums.

Ellis succumbed to lymphatic cancer at Hammersmith Hospital in West London. He was 70.

On a personal note, during the mid-90s, my older brother Roderick played guitar for one of Alton's twenty children, Noel Ellis, on a Canadian tour.

Riddim!

Mafiaboy Speaks

In 1999, someone hacked into e-commerce websites like CNN, Yahoo, Amazon and eBay and grounded them to a halt. Then U.S president Bill Clinton called a task force to try to capture the hacker only known as mafiaboy. It turns out the big time hacker was 15 year old Michael Culce , a Montreal teenager.

A book has been released by Craig Silverman to tell his story. His first media interview ever was on October 8 on CBC The Hour with George Stroumboulopoulos.

Watch The Hour interview

Rap Fan Sentenced to Listening to Classical Music

An Ohio man was facing a $150 fine for playing rap music too loudly on his car stereo when Champaign County Municipal Court Judge Susan Fornof-Lippencott offered to reduce that to $35 if the defendant Andrew Vactor spent 20 hours listening to classical music by the likes of Bach, Beethoven and Chopin.

But the 24-year-old Vactor lasted about 15 minutes before deciding to pay the full fine for the ticket he received in July of this year.

Read the story from Boise's 2news.tv

Colin and Justin's Home Heist Season Premier

HGTV's popular maverick home makeover show Colin and Justin's Home Heist premiered their second season with a very tense episode on October 2.

By the way, my sister Cheryl directed this episode.

Watch episodes of Colin and Justin's Home Heist at the HGTV website.

Archie Bunker on Democrats

Archie Bunker's view on American politics in 1976 - Funny how over thirty years later, there isn't much difference

Bill Maher's New Rules for Oct 3

HBO television show Real Time with Bill Maher's New Rules segment for October 3. This week: Pope Benedict and gays, celebrity colognes, Amy Winehouse and Sarah Palin’s Bible First philosophy.

The Toronto Star's 10 Things We Learned This Week

Some of the things we learned this week, according to the Toronto Star's weekly feature "10 Things We Learned This Week" includes:

John Lydon, a.k.a. Sex Pistols punk rocker Johnny Rotten, has filmed a British TV commercial for Country Life Butter.

Human toothpaste contains foaming agents that could make a dog vomit.

King Henry VIII went from a 32-inch waist early in his rule to a 54-inch waist near the end. At his death, he weighed just under 420 pounds.

Read the Toronto Star Story

Sean Avery on the Hour

Sean Avery, the National Hockey League's current most hated player, reveals a side of himself that many people wouldn't usually see in this interview with The Hour's George Stroumboulopoulos.

As a raving hockey fan, I have gained some respect for Avery as a man, if not as a player

Watch The Hour interview.

The Sweater

In honour of opening week of the 2008-09 NHL regular season, here is the timeless National Film Board of Canada (NFB) animated short The Sweater, or Le Chandail.

This classic story, which is based on the 1979 short story Le chandail de hockey by Quebec author Roch Carrier has been said to be a parallel to the cultural and linguistic tensions between Canada's anglophone and francophone communities.

I just say this is a classic piece of Canadiana .

Opposition Leaders Team up on Harper During English Debate

Prime Minister and Conservative Leader Stephen Harper found himself on the defensive on Thursday, Oct 2, with the other party leaders combining forces to attack his record on the economy and environment in the Political leaders' English language-debate, the final one, prior to the October 14 election.

Despite the frequent attacks, Harper appeared largely relaxed for the first hour, but occasionally showed the tight smile he displayed in French-language debate the night before.

Throughout the two-hour session at Ottawa's National Arts Centre, the Conservative leader was quizzed by NDP Leader Jack Layton, Green Leader Elizabeth May, Stéphane Dion of the Liberals and the Bloc Québécois's Gilles Duceppe on how he proposes to address Canada's financial situation in light of the U.S. crisis. Layton in particular was notably aggressive on the PM's stance that the government must stay its course on the economy and that Canada's fiscal fundamentals are strong. "The economy is not fine," Layton said to Harper. "Either you don't care or you are incompetent. Which is it?"

The debate also saw Layton laying into Dion, saying the Liberal leader tacitly supported Harper’s agenda by failing to vote down the minority Conservatives sooner: “His policies, your responsibility,” said Layton, jabbing his finger at Dion. “If you can’t do your job as leader of the opposition, I don’t know why you’re running to be Prime Minister,” Layton said.


Read up on the debate:

The Toronto Star article

The Globe and Mail article

The CBC article

The CTV news article

The Juice Convicted

On Friday, October 3, thirteen years to the day after he was acquitted of the murder of his wife, Nicole Brown and her friend, Ron Goldman, O.J. Simpson was found guilty of kidnapping and armed robbery.

The former NFL player was found guilty of robbing two sports-memorabilia dealers at gunpoint in a Las Vegas hotel room.

The 61 year old Simpson was convicted of all 12 counts late Friday after jurors deliberated for more than 13 hours. He released a heavy sigh as the charges were read and was immediately taken into custody.

Sentencing was set for Dec. 5. Kidnapping is punishable by five years to life in prison. Armed robbery carries a mandatory sentence of at least two years behind bars, and could bring as much as 30.

Now, I am not passing judgment on this case, but talk about karma coming back and biting you on the ass!

Read the U.S.A Today article

You Learn Somethig New Everyday

The world's largest K-Mart is on the island of Guam

The bubbles in Guiness Beer sink to the bottom rather than float to the top like all other beers. No one knows why.

If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

In most advertisments, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10 because then the hands of the watch frame the brand name on the watch face.

Artist Plans to Smoke 'Cobain's Ashes'

German artist Natascha Stellmach is claiming to be in possession of Kurt Cobain’s stolen ashes and is threatening to smoke them as part of a morbid art exhibition.

The Berlin-based Stellmach won't reveal how she obtain the late-Nirvana frontman's remains says she will smoke the remains as part of the forthcoming Set Me Free exhibition at the city's Wagner + Partner gallery on October 11th.

This congers up memories of Tommy Chong's character in the film Nice Dreams, when he hoped his friends would snort his remains at his funeral.

Read the Canoe.ca story

Jon Stewart Rants on Congress

Jon Stewart of the Daily Show rips into the U.S congress for not passing a bill to help save the economy.

Damn funny!

Harper used Howard's speech

A Conservative staff member resigned and apologized Tuesday for writing a speech read by Stephen Harper in 2003 as leader of the Opposition that plagiarized from an address days earlier by then Australian prime minister John Howard.

Owen Lippert apologised for being "overzealous in copying segments of another world leader's speech" and said his bosses at the time were unaware he had done so.

The apology came hours after Liberal foreign affairs critic Bob Rae accused Harper of plagiarizing from the Howard speech.

Take it from someone who lived in Australia at the height of the War on Terror, John Howard was nothing but a puppet of the Bush administration, there is no doubt that Stephen Harper is just as much a puppet.

Get this guy out of office...and now!

Read the Liberal.ca story

Bill Maher's New Rules for Sept. 26

HBO television show Real Time with Bill Maher's New Rules segment for September 26. This week: Henry Kissinger, tainted Chinese milk, Clay Aiken, prejudging a white politicians.

Teacher, Teacher

My brother Andrew, who is now in his second year teaching elementary school, was quoted in the September issue of Famous magazine. In their Last Word section, Famous, a magazine given out free in movie theatres in Canada, asks their readers to answer on a topical question.

This month being back to school, naturally a teacher question:

Of all the big-screen movie teachers, which one would you most want to teach your class?

My brother chose the very funny Richard Mulligan's Herbert Gower in the 1984 film Teachers, also starring Nick Nolte, Jobeth Williams and Ralph Macchio.

Unfortunately, I have to correct Andrew, though, as Gower was dressed as George Washington while teaching about the crossing of the Delaware. He did however, dress as Abe Lincoln for another lesson.

Read the whole Famous article.

Paul Newman R.I.P

Paul Newman, one of the best actors to ever grace the big screen, died of cancer on September 26 at his home in Westport, Connecticut.

Not only did Newman star in legendary films like Cat on a Hot Tin Toof, The Hustler, Cool Hand Luke, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Sting, The Vertict and Color of Money, he also was an accomplished race car driver and a food product mogul.

Known for his intense method acting and gripping blue eyes, Newman was the actor's actor - matinee idol looks with an anti-establishment attitude.

In 2007, Newman commented on his longevity:

"You can't be as old as I am without waking up with a surprised look on your face every morning: 'Holy Christ, whaddya know - I'm still around!' It's absolutely amazing that I survived all the booze and smoking and the cars and the career."

Newman is survived by his wife actress Joanne Woodward, whom he married in 1958, and his five children. He was 83.

Read about Newman's career at cnn.com.

addictions and bad dreams

My current obsessions, time wasters and indulgences, in no particular order, are:

Mr. Sub foot-long veggie sandwiches with black AND green olives
Deadwood, the HBO series
Fully inflated bicycle tires
my eight-iron
my new $13 Doc Martens from Value Village
blue-eyed devil
the anticipation for the NHL season to begin
pumpkin and spinach roti
the bonus features on the Rocky anniversary DVD

You Learn Something New Every Day

In Disney's Fantasia, the Sorcerer's name is "Yensid" (Disney backwards.)

The first toilet ever seen on television was on Leave It To Beaver. Wally and Beaver had a baby alligator which they kept in the toilet.

In the great fire of London in 1666 half of London was burnt down but only 6 people were injured

John Larroquette of sitcoms Night Court and The John Larroquette Show was the narrator of the 1974 cult classic slasher film The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

The Democratic National Convention

Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) addresses the 2008 Democratic National Convention.




Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) accepts his party's nomination for President and speaks to the 2008 Democratic National Convention.

The Toronto Star's 10 Things We Learned This Week

Some of the things we learned this week, according to the Toronto Star's weekly feature "10 Things We Learned This Week" includes:

The "devil's horns" salute of heavy-metal fans – hand upraised with index and pinky fingers extended and the digits between them folded down – was popularized by Ronnie James Dio of Black Sabbath. He had learned the gesture from his Italian grandmother, who used it to ward off the evil eye.

The sweater vest – the sleeveless knit garment worn by Prime Minister Stephen Harper in his "fireside" election ad – is stereotypical garb for the "emo" acolyte, a young pseud who favours lugubrious music.

At the turn of the 20th century, the rule of thumb was blue clothing for girls and pink for boys. Blue was considered more delicate and best suited to females, while pink was more assertive and therefore more male-friendly.


Read the Toronto Star Story

Bill Maher's New Rules for Sept. 5

HBO television show Real Time with Bill Maher's New Rules segment for September 5. This week: Sarah Palin, John Mccain, Fred Thompson and Barack Obama

Bill Maher's New Rules for Aug 29

HBO television show Real Time with Bill Maher's New Rules segment for September 26. This week: Olympic medals, political conventions, Obama's family, banks and John Edwards

Smile of the Week

Without a doubt, one of the greatest moments in television history. Mooshi Mooshi
Barney Miller Season 3, Episode 11: Hash
Original Air Date: 30 December 1976

Part 1 of 3



Part 2 of 3



Part 3 of 3

The Toronto Star's 10 Things We Learned This Week

Yawning in front of a dog can cause it to yawn, too. Researchers believe this is the first hard evidence "that dogs have the capacity to empathize with humans."

The "cat nights" of summer begin today. The term denotes a time when cats yowl and witches prowl, and harks back to "the belief that a witch could turn herself into a cat eight times, but on the ninth time, Aug. 17, she couldn't regain her human form," hence the notion that a cat has nine lives. "

Octopuses don't have eight legs. Six of its tentacles function as "arms" and two as "legs."


Read the Toronto Star story.

Man Bought Farve Jets Jersey Six Years Ago

Joe Braun of Racine , Wisconsin thought he bought a Brett Favre Green Bay Packers jersey for his wife for Christmas six years ago. Instead he accidentally got a mostly green one with a New York Jets logo on the sleeve. But he and his wife Jeannette decided to keep it.

After retiring from the NFL, and then reinstated, Farve was traded to the Jets on August 7 after playing playing sixteen years for the Packers, which included a win at Superbowl XXXI.

Read the Green Bay Press Gazette story.

Morrissey: "Don't Buy My DVD"

Morrissey, the former lead singer of the Smiths, has not been too happy lately.

Not only has he canceled a couple of pending record releases for both Smiths and himself, but he is now urging people not to buy a new, live Morrissey DVD.

He is urging fans not to buy Live at the Hollywood Bowl, a concert DVD filmed last June, because it is being released against his wishes. He has issued a statement via the fansite True to You, insisting he is not involved with the release in any way, shape or form, and will not be collecting a pay cheque from the DVD sales.


Read the Exclaim.ca story

R.I.P Isaac Hayes

Soul legend Isaac Hayes has died.

Hayes was a longtime songwriter and arranger for Stax Records in Memphis, playing in the studio's backup band and crafting tunes for artists such as Otis Redding and Sam and Dave in the 1960s. In the 70's he would be remembered in pop culture by providing the music for the film and character "Shaft." The last decade brought Hayes a new audience as the voice of Chef on the animated television series Southpark.

On August 10, he was found at his Memphis home by his wife. He was 65.

You damn right!

Read the Time Magazine story

R.I.P Bernie Mac

"Actor/comedian Bernie Mac passed away (on August 9) from complications due to pneumonia in a Chicago area hospital," his publicist, Danica Smith, said in a statement.
She said no other details were available and requested that his family's privacy be respected.
Earlier this week she had said reports of Mac's serious illness were overstated and that he was expected to make a full recovery.

In recent years, Mac (real name: Bernard Jeffery McCullough) had battled an inflammatory lung disease known as sarcoidosis, which causes inflammation in the lungs, lymph nodes and other organs. It had been in remission since 2005, and Smith had said Mac's pneumonia was not related to it.

Read the Chicago Tribune story

Cousins

A brilliant scene from the Jim Jarmusch film Coffee and Cigarettes. Alfred Molina tells Steve Coogan that they are cousins.

The Toronto Star's 10 Things We Learned This Week

Some of the things we learned this week, according to the Toronto Star's weekly feature "10 Things We Learned This Week" includes:

Although technically a fruit, the tomato was deemed a vegetable in 1893 by the U.S. Supreme Court, which reasoned that because it's used more like a vegetable than a fruit, it should therefore have the former designation. The ruling was prompted by a legal challenge involving a tax on imported vegetables.


Botanically speaking, grains of wheat, corn and rice, as well as squash, peppers and eggplant, are all fruit – fleshy or dry ripened ovaries of plants, containing seeds. Vegetables, meanwhile, are the edible leaves, stalks, roots, tubers, bulbs and flowers of a plant.


Ketchup started out as a pickled fish sauce, ke-tsiap, in China, before being adopted by Malaysia (kechap) and Indonesia (ketjap). The British made it with pickled mushrooms, anchovies, walnuts and oysters, with tomatoes entering the brew in the 1700s.

Read the Toronto Star Story

http://www.thestar.com/article/475515

Scenario

From all the way back in 1991 - the closing track on A Tribe Called Quest's Low End Theory, featuring Leaders of the New School's Charlie Brown, Dinco D and Busta Ryhmes (giving, without a doubt, the best rap performance ever!)

Iggy and the Stooges' Equipment Stolen

Punk legends Iggy and the Stooges had their equipment stolen while in Montreal for the Osheaga Festival on August 4.

Stooges road manager Eric Fischer says their 15-foot rental truck was stolen on Monday outside the Embassy Suites hotel and contained all the group's instruments and stage gear.

The band's Toronto show, scheduled for August 6 will go as scheduled, using rented and donated
gear.

Among the missing equipment is a red Gibson 1963 EB-3 bass; a volcano black Reverend Flying V guitar; a Reverend orange guitar; two Marshall vintage amplifiers; several Marshall 4-by-12 cabinets; and a Gretsch silver sparkle Catalina drum kit.

Pictures of the stolen gear can be seen on bassist Mike Watt's Web site. Anyone with any information about the incident should contact Fischer at nycentral13@gmail.com.

http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003835169

Man Dials 911, Complains His Sub Had No Sauce

I'm speechless...

Florida man Reginald Peterson, called 911 twice after a sandwich shop left off the sauce for a spicy Italian sandwich. Peterson initially called the emergency number Thursday so that officers could have his subs made correctly, according to a police report.

Read the newsvine.com story.

Smile of the Week

Many people know that it takes a lot for me to really get into stand-up comedy. Only a handful of comedians can make me listen for more than five minutes without me wanting to stick a fork in my eye.

Richard Pryor was, and continues to be, the best of the best.

This clip should be offensive on every level, but g'damn, Pryor just kills it!

The Toronto Star's 10 Things We Learned This Week

Some of the things we learned this week, according to the Toronto Star's weekly feature "10 Things We Learned This Week" includes:


Ebsen, best known as Jed Clampett in TV's The Beverly Hillbillies, had to drop the role of Tin Man (eventually played by Jack Haley) in The Wizard of Oz because of a severe allergic reaction to the aluminum powder makeup.


Terry, the cairn terrier that played Toto in The Wizard of Oz, made $125 a week – more than many of the actors earned.


Read the Toronto Star story

Angry Landlord Posts Drugs & Sex Sign

An angry Ohio landlord, fed up with the criminal activity ouside of an apartment he owns, hung a sign up reading "Drugs & Sex For Sale 24/7" in hopes that Cincinnati City Council will clen up the area.

Read the Ledger story.

Boy Banned From Kindergarten For Long Hair

A Texas school board will soon decide if a boy's long hair should keep him from attending school.

The Needville Independent School District said 5-year-old Adriel Arocha's long locks violate school rules. Adriel's parents say long hair is a sacred tradition in their Native American culture.

Kenny Arocha, Adriel's father, said long hair is a religious symbol for the Apache tribe that should only be cut at the time of a life-changing event.

It's great to see Americans are finding reasons to keep children from attending school.

Read the 9 News Colorado story.


Photo courtesy of 9 News Colorado

Addictions and Bad Dreams

Current fixations:

The Wire. Without a doubt, the best show ever written for television. And although I obtained illegally sourced copies of the fifth and final season (it'll be available in stores next week), I don't feel bad about this at all. Shyeet.

Wordscraper. Well I am almost as addicted to this crossword-game Facebook application as I was to its predecessor Scrabulous, of which had to shut down in North America this week, due to a legal battle with Scrabble. Damn Lawyers.

Grilled cheese sandwiches. There are as many recipes for a grilled cheese sandwiches as there are people who love 'em. Lately, I have been heavily indulging in my weakness for smoked Provolone cheese, on multi-grain loaf from the Junction's Buskett Bakery. Lightly fried in a skillet with margarine. A dipping sauce of ketchup and Sarachi sauce.

Vonnegut's Eight Rules for Writing a Short Story

I found this post on my lovely friend Sofia Ramirez' Facebook page and thought, these are pretty much eight rules for living life. In his own words: "God Bless you, Dr. Vonnegut!"

1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.

3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.

4. Every sentence must do one of two things—reveal character or advance the action.

5. Start as close to the end as possible.

6. Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them—in order that the reader may see what they are made of.

7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.

8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To hell with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

A Lesson in Integrity

Tom Petty teaches an A&R exec what's what about honest music making.
A clip from the Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers documentary Running Down a Dream

The Toronto Star's 10 Things We Learned This Week

Some of the things we learned this week, according to the Toronto Star's weekly feature "10 Things We Learned This Week" includes:

The latest Guinness record to be adjudicated was the largest number of people dressed as Smurfs – there were 1,253 of them on July 18, in Castleblayney, Ireland.

British scientists who've been studying Blondie drummer Clem Burke and other rock and jazz percussionists for the past eight years say drummers have as much stamina as top-flight athletes.

The woman who played Judith Iscariot, the girlfriend of the messiah in Monty Python's Life of Brian, is the new mayor of Aberystwyth in Wales. Sue Jones-Davies promises to lift a three-decade local ban of the movie.


Read the Toronto Star story

World's oldest joke traced back to 1900 BC

The world's oldest recorded joke has been traced back to 1900 BC and suggests that toilet humour was as popular with the ancients as it is today. It heads the world's oldest top 10 joke list published by the University of Wolverhampton on July 31

Surprisingly, given the the antiquity of the joke, Robin Williams had absolutely nothing to do with it.

Read the uk.reuters.com story.

Movie Chain Pulls G-spot Enhancement Ads

A chain of Montreal movie theatres has pulled an ad for a surgical procedure that claims to enlarge a women’s so-called G-spot.

The ads at the Cinemas Guzzo theatres have been playing since the spring before such movies as Sex and the City, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and Batman: The Dark Knight.

A Montreal medical clinic, Gestion Elixir, advertises the procedure, along with breast implants, breast lifts and other cosmetic surgeries.
The clinic claims to be able to temporarily increase the sensitivity of the area in the vagina commonly identified as the G-spot.

Guzzo owner Vince Guzzo told local media outlets that while no parent had filed a complaint about the ad, he removed them from rotation before of the end of the contract.

Originally published in Marketing Magazine, July 2008

More G-spot stories from this blog.

Cape Verde joins WTO

Cape Verde, one of the world's poorest states became 153rd member of World Trade Organization (WTO) on July 23.


With a population of 400,000, the archipelago off the west coast of Africa specializes in production of salt and bananas and in fishing. The country, which became independent from Portugal in 1975, has become the 33rd of the world's 50 least developed countries to join the WTO, AFP reported.

Read the Afrol News story

R.I.P Lina Newhouser

Political activist, artist and co-founder of CommonDreams.org Lina Newhouser passed away on July18. She died at her home in Maine from complications following an April stem-cell transplant as part of the treatment in her 3-year battle against non-Hodgkins lymphoma.

Lina Newhouser was 56.

Common Dreams has been a URL link on this blog since day one and I urge anyone who seeks left-wing, progressive social commentary and view on politics to check out the site.

Read the about Lina Newhouser here.

Smile of the week

Officer fired for demanding free coffee

A report says a Daytona Beach police officer demanded free coffee and tea from a Starbucks and threatened employees with slower emergency response times if they refused.

In the immortal words of WKRP's Dr. Johnny Fever: "Free coffee is a constitutional right! Look it up - Juan Valdez vs. the State of California!"

Read the heraldtimesonline.com story

Stanley Cup used in baptism

I've always told people hockey is my religion...well, I think Tomas Holmstrom has me beat.

The tough Detroit Red Wing forward had his day with the Stanley Cup in his hometown of Pitea in northern Sweden, and he let his cousin use it as a baptismal font for a christening.

Read the Toronto Star story.

Estelle Getty dies at 84

Actress Estelle Getty, who played the sarcastic matriarch on the 1980's hit NBC sit-com The Golden Girls has passed away.

Playing the role of Sophia along side Bea Arthur's Dorothy, Betty White's Rose and Rue McClanahan's Blanche, Getty easily became the fan favourite with her quick one-liners.

Getty, whose character was actually 20 years her senior, suffered from advanced dementia and died at about 5:30 a.m. July 22 at her Hollywood Boulevard home. She was 84.


Read the Hollywood Reporter obituary

The Eraserheads Rumoured to Reunite

The original members of the seminal Filipino rock group the Eraserheads are scheduled reunite for for the first time since 2001 for a single show in Manila. Vocalists/guitarist Ely Buendia, drummer Raymund Marasigan, lead guitarist Marcus Adoro and bassist Buddy Zabala have been rumoured to be performing at the CCP grounds on on August 30.

From their formation in 1990 to their well-documented breakup in 2001, the Eraserheads ruled Pinoy rock music, not only with record sales and mass appeal, but with their extraordinary catalog of catchy songs and no-bullshit attitude, forever changing and influencing anyone who makes music in the country.

But the band also tasted success overseas, touring Singapore, Hong Kong, Australia, Dubai and the U.S. They represented the Philippines and Asia, winning the 1997 MTV Asia Viewer Choice Award and played at that years' MTV Awards show at Radio Music Hall in New York City.

I met the band during the height of their popularity and influence during the mid 90's while traveling through the Philippines. I am still particularly close to Raymund and Buddy, who along with Ely and Marcus, continue to make relevant music in the Philippines.

The band has had tumultuous periods, within and outside the band, which makes this reunion quite a coup, even though they have been broken up for a relatively short period of time.

e-heads all over the world will just have to wait to see whether or not the gig happens at all.


Read the Philmusic story

The Toronto Star's 10 Things We Learned This Week

Some of the things we learned this week, according to the Toronto Star's weekly feature "10 Things We Learned This Week" includes:


Male mosquitoes live on nectar and plant juices. Females drink blood.


Chicken, Alaska (population 17 to 37, depending on whom you ask), is so named because the original residents couldn't agree on the spelling of the town's first, fowl-inspired choice: Ptarmigan

There are 1,961,990,553,600 ways to feed a shoelace through the six pairs of eyelets on an average shoe, according to shoe-lacing.com

Read the the Star story

American Medical Association: Apology to African Americans

For filing under the category: "What took you so long, you ignorant bastards"

The American Medical Association, the largest association of physicians and medical students in the United States, issued a formal apology to African Americans on July 10 for more than a century of discriminatory policies that excluded blacks from their organization.

Read the NewsDaily story

R.I.P Charles H. Joffe

July 9 saw the passing of Charles H. Joffe, who in partnership with Jack Rollins, produced virtually every film made by Woody Allen and were considered deans of American comedy.

Along with the Allen films, Rollins and Joffe were also the first to bring Lenny Bruce to New York and helped develop the team of Mike Nichols and Elaine May.

As a manager, Joffe helped guide the careers of Dick Cavett, Robin Williams and Billy Crystal.

He died in Los Angeles at the age of 78.

Read the Los Angeles Times Obituary.

Redd Kross Neurotica

In 1987, my older sister's friend left us a cassette copy of Redd Kross' Neurotica he picked up as an impulse buy at the counter of a local record store. He said it was either Neurotica or Memoentary Lapse Reason by Pink Floyd.
I remember listening to that cassette over and over again, trying to convince anyone to listen to it, but to no avail. I tried to play it for the cool kids at school, no one heard of them.

Then in 1992, while working the kitchen of a Scottish pub, I heard on the radio that Kurt Cobain cited Neurotica as one of the inspirations for Nevermind.

On June17 I saw the Redd Kross in concert -- with the original Neurotica line-up -- at Toronto's Lee's Palace. It is a rare thing to watch a rock show, where all the cats on stage are smiling ear to ear for practically the whole show.

I'm so glad we aren't talking about Momentary Lapse of Reason

Top Ten Movie Villains

Sun Media's Kevin Williamson has compiled a top ten list of movie villains, which includes, in no particular:

Anton Chigurh- Javier Bardem's bobbed-haired sociopath from the 2007 film No Country for Old Men.

Roy Batty - The tormented 'replicant' - artificial life forms made to be slaves - is hauntingly brought to the screen by Rutger Hauer in the 1982 futuristic private-dic film Blade Runner.

Annie Wilkes - An Oscar-winning performance by Kathy Bates, who portrays an obsessed fan in the 1990 adaptation of the Stephen King novel Misery.

See the Canoe Jam story to see if your favourite villain made the list.

I am personally very upset that Mr. Williamson failed to mention The Stomach, the hot-dog eating antagonist to the heroic Larry Finkelstein, in Ivan Reitman's 1979 summer camp romp Meatballs.

U.S Senator Big Bad John

The "Big Bad John" video intro of U.S. Sen. John Cornyn to the Republican state convention now has a wider audience. Portions were played this week on two national cable channels. Fans of comedian Jon Stewart and conservative talk show host Bill O'Reilly are either snickering or nodding appreciatively -- depending on their cable channeler.

On Tuesday's "The Daily Show," Stewart took a swipe at Cornyn. He directed viewers to a ranch-style, leather-fringed jacket Cornyn wore.

"Let me ask you something, Senator, how'd you find that jacket in an adult size?" Stewart said.

Read the Dallas News' Trailblazers blog here

Smile of the Week

It's a story that circulated around the world: Rock star David Lee Roth saved by two OPP officers after suffering a severe allergic reaction to peanuts while driving on a country road near Brantford.

Several newspapers — the Brantford Expositor and the Hamilton Spectator — even had a followup to the original wire service story about how the Van Halen singer, dressed in flashy rock-star duds, strutted into a Brantford bar with two nurses after spending the evening recovering in Brantford General Hospital.

The only problem? The story isn't true.

The two officers and a lot of other people in the Brantford area appear to be victims of a charming imposter.

On May 23, the day this was supposed to have happened, Roth was performing at Madison Square Garden with Van Halen.

Within a three week span, the DLR wannabe also fooled a rock band, some nurses and a record producer who let the singer stay and record at his house.

Read the complete Toronto Star story

The Toronto Star's 10 Things We Learned This Week

Some of the things we learned this week, according to the Toronto Star's weekly feature "10 Things We Learned This Week" includes:

July is Doghouse Repairs Month, "a time for all who are doomed for the doghouse to make amends and minimize their stay..." The occasion is the brainchild of a florist.



About 60 per cent of all weddings in Canada take place during the summer months. August is the most popular for marriage, when 21 per cent wed. January is the least popular month, with 2.6 per cent.

Eighteen- to 49-year-olds in the U.S. "are 35 per cent more likely to watch the Cartoon Network than CNN.

Read the the Star story

NHL Free Agency Frenzy

Last week, there was a frenzy of activity, as the July 1 activation date for NHL free agency came into effect, and the spending by ownership has been outrageous.

Arguably, a rather mediocre group of free agents have attracted huge contracts from the league's richer teams, pretty much eliminating the initial effects of the NHL Players' lock out by the owners that saw the 2004-2005 season scrapped.

Each team will have a maximum of US$56.7 million to spend for the 2008-09 season. It's up $6.4 million from last season.

The floor also rose $6.4 million to $40.7 million, the minimum each of the 30 teams must spend on player salaries.

Check out the list of Summer 2008 Free agent signings at TSN.ca

Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency

Satirical website theoninon.com produced this video to be a comment on George W Bush's effect on the American people. Can't really tell where real life ends and satire begins.



Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency

'Gay' McDonald's prompts boycott

I never thought I'd side with McDonald's on any issue.

The American Family Association has launched a call for a boycott of McDonald's, including a website, BoyCott McDonald's. The boycott call stems from McDonald's refusal to condemn Vice President of Communications Richard Ellis’s election to the Board of Directors of the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, as well as saying the fast-food giant has refused "to stay neutral in the cultural war over homosexuality."

McDonald's USA spokesman Bill Whitman says: "We stand by and support our people to live and work in a society free of discrimination and harassment."

In March, the association ended a two-year boycott of Ford after the automaker largely stopped advertising its Volvo, Jaguar and Land Rover vehicles in the gay media. The association also has boycotted retailer Target for substituting "holiday" for "Christmas" in its advertising and the Walt Disney Co. for its "embrace of the homosexual lifestyle."

Read the World Daily News story.

Morgentaler to receive Order of Canada

The naming of abortion-rights activist Dr. Henry Morgentaler to the Order of Canada is being met with both applause and outrage.

Morgentaler was instrumental in having the high court strike down Criminal Code restrictions on abortion on Jan. 28, 1988, making Canada the only western democracy with no criminal sanctions of any kind against abortion.

He is to be named at a later date as a member of the Order of Canada for both his health care and humanitarian work, said a statement posted on the Governor General of Canada’s website.

"For his commitment to increased health care options for women, his determined efforts to influence Canadian public policy and his leadership in humanist and civil liberties organizations..." reads the statement.

Those opposing the decision believe that honouring Morgentaler implicitly endorses abortion, and many Canadians will be offended by the decision.


Read the Winnipeg Sun story.
http://www.winnipegsun.com/News/Manitoba/2008/07/01/6036976.html

Ian Curtis's Gravestone Robbed From Cemetery

The gravestone of late Joy Division front-man Ian Curtis has been stolen from his burial place, Macclesfield Cemetery. Details are a little scarce, but according to Chesire Police, the stone was taken from his plot some time between the afternoon of July 1 and the morning of July 2.

The iconic gravestone features the inscription "Ian Curtis 18 - 5 - 80" and the words "Love Will Tear Us Apart" and has become a rather famous landmark visited by thousands of fans each year since the 23-year-old singer committed suicide back in 1980 on the eve of Joy Division's U.S. tour.

Story courtesy of exclaim.ca

The Toronto Star's 10 Things We Learned This Week

Some of the things we learned this week, according to the Toronto Star's weekly feature "10 Things We Learned This Week" includes:

Scientists have identified in excess of 130,000 species of moth, but just 18,000 species of butterfly.

Every year in the United States, people toss out $80 million in metals including gold, copper and platinum when they trash their old cellphones. (discovermagazine.com)

The place we now know as Toronto was once called the Township of Dublin, before it was renamed York.

Read the Star story

Canada Day

Happy 141stBirthday, Canada.
July 1.

Spain are Champions of Europe

After gaining a reputation for being a team not being able to win the big game in international competition, Spain are now the UEFA Euro Cup champions for 2008. They beat perennial powerhouse Germany 1-0 in Vienna on June 29.

The victory marks the first major international win for Spain in 44 years.

Brothel Offers Free Gas With Services

Nevada prostitutes are going the extra mile to draw clients to their establishments by offering to pay for their gas to get there.

The Shady Lady Ranch on Highway 95, 31 miles north of Beatty, Nevada, has posted on its Web site that as of July 1 customers who spend $300 for 1 hour of services will receive a free $50 gas card.

Read the app.com stroy.

Smile of the Week

In the spirit of Gay Pride Week...

Denver Optometrist Not Sure Why He Has Gay Cult Following

Gene Podrewski, a Denver-area optometrist and father of two, expressed befuddlement Monday over his status as a gay camp icon.

"I'm not exactly sure why I have this huge gay following," Podrewski said. "I'm a likable enough guy, but I've never been particularly glamorous or charismatic. I'm not in showbiz, and I don't act or sing. But, for some reason, gay men put me up there with Judy Garland and Cher."
Over the past several years, Podrewski, 44, has cultivated a large and devoted following among gay men nationwide, and the whirlwind of attention and adoration perplexes him.

Read the Onion story.